Parents: How to Defeat Annoying, Beeping, Singing, and Obnoxiously Loud Children's Toys

Firstly, I don't like toys that order my child around. Things like, "PUSH THE RED BUTTON!" or "JUMP UP AND DOWN!"

Ever seen that spoof of Dora, the Explorer from SNL? (Go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1FfL9_P5LE)

That's what some of these toys are doing. I've read, and agree that, you should let your child play with toys where they control the process, rather than the other way around. So, they push a red button and the toy "says": RED! Better.

We have some toys from Column A and some from Column B. Regardless of who orders who around, the toy is, without fail, the loudest and most obnoxious sound in your house. You've been there before... the beeping starts and you find yourself looking frantically for some kind of volume button or knob. Here's the thing: they don't have any. So, you're left covering your ears or leaving the room, when really your child wants you to stay there and play with them.

I've come up with a pretty simple solution to this problem. One that will muffle the beeping and singing to a tolerable decibel level. Simply locate the speaker on the toy and cover it with some clear packing tape. It makes life so much more bearable. We don't have a single electronic toy in the house that is not taped over.

Try it. You'll thank me later.

smurray's thoughts are now open

So, I have succumbed to this crazy thing called blogging. Every person's opening blog always seems to list the litany of reasons they've decided to start a blog. Not me. I'm just going to jump into it.

I've spent the past two years going through various phases of what some might call "a battle against cancer". I suppose, considering I'm now technically cancer-free and am officially off chemo, that I could claim victory. However, I don't consider the battle won until I can pull my hair into a ponytail without needing a hat on. So, the battle continues! Not against cancer, but against my hair. (Ladies, isn't this a life-long battle?) Mine has been an interesting battle, to date.

To beat back my brain cancer, I underwent a "crainiotomy" (or "brain surgery" in the vernacular), and then was put on chemotherapy and radiation therapy.

This is where the Battle for Sarah's Hair begins.

For starters, only part of my hair fell out during radiation. Picture that dude from Empire Strikes Back from the City in the Clouds that has that metal headset thing that Londo can contact him on. That's where my hair fell out. Just there. So I had this patch of long, straight hair on the top of my head, a 4"-wide stripe of baldness starting above one ear, then wrapping around the back of my head to the other ear, then a patch of long, straight hair right above the nape of my neck. A very funny look for several months.

Until...

My hair started to grow back.

Only...

It was curly.

I've had pin-straight hair my entire life. But this new, long-anticipated, post-radiated hair was Shirly-Temple-Curls. So picture again my hair, with the new "layer"...

Layer 1
Location: Top of Head
Texture: Straight

Layer 2
Location: 4" Horizontal Section from Left to Right Ear
Texture: Curly

Layer 3
Location: Above Nape of Neck
Texture: Straight

Everyone always complains about their hair. Curly-haired girls want straight hair because they're tired of the frizz. Straight-haired girls want curly because of the flatness.

Ladies, until you've had BOTH... AT THE SAME TIME... You cannot complain.

There were countless experiments with straightening gels, sprays, shampoos/conditionners, and lastly: the straightening iron. I'm usually a low-maintenence, get-showered/dressed/made-up/ready-to-go-in-less-than-45 mintues kind of girl. Only now, my 3 minute time slot left open for hair styling took up a whopping 30 minutes. Overnight, I became HIGH MAINTENANCE! This was unacceptable. A visit to my trusted hair dresser (I love you, Chris!) resulted in him telling me I had to wait for all the new hair to be long enough before we could figure out what the heck to do with it.

Patience, they say, is a virtue. So, I virtuously waited for my "inner" curly hair to become long enough to fix this nagging problem. In the mean time, I spent the 30 minutes gooping, blowing out, and straightening the curls.

Then, finally, the day came.

I got a perm. Screw the stigma. It's not bad 80's hair. My hair routine is back to less than 5 minutes, and I can wear it in a way to cover the spot that hasn't grown back in yet.

But alas, I'm still bald on my right temple, so...

... let the battle rage on.